My day so far… sucktastic.

Woke up at 3am. Tossed and turned for about an hour until I pretty much gave up since my alarm goes off at 4:30 anyway. Cooked breakfast, corned beef hash, usually my favorite. I ate 3 bites and a piece of toast. Apparently Moose does not understand that mom actually needs to EAT so she can grow all healthy-like and be born with all her limbs where they’re supposed to be. Woke up Princess Punk to much grumbling and general pre-teen pissyness. Field trip today, crap. She had her bag all packed up and ready (miraculously) and the permission slip was even SIGNED but the fantastic thing about having a kid with diabetes is NOTHING IS EVER SIMPLE. She has an insulin pump so she had to do a set change this morning. She usually does this at night because, well, she’s awake, but because of the field trip we couldn’t risk her running out of insulin mid-day with no school nurse to run to. So it took her about 6 tries and a lot of stomping around before I finally snatched the injection set from her and popped it in her arm myself. She was less than thrilled with me. At this point the Zen Master comes out of the bedroom fully dressed and ready to leave an hour before he needs to.

Me- Why are you up so early?

ZM- The TV woke me up

Me- This TV? (gesticulating in the general direction of the living room where I had been watching 24 on Netflix during breakfast. Jack Bauer is HARDCORE)

ZM- Yup

Me- (meekly) oh. Sorry, I didn’t know it was that loud

Shittiest wife EVER. The Zen Master is a breakfast cook and very rarely has days when he can sleep later than 4:30 and I had to go and wake him up. And the worst thing is he was just so NICE about it. So I felt even worse. Damn him.

PP is now sulking in her PJs at the dining room table and DRAWING A PICTURE. It is now past 5am. I have to leave my house by 5:30 so I can drop PP off at my mom’s house where she catches the bus and still make it to work on time. If I’m really lucky I have time to stop on the way and get a cup of desperately needed caffeine. Yes I drink caffeine when I’m pregnant Judgy McJudgerton, Bite me. Ah I see. apparently PP is planning on taking a shower at Mima’s house. Whatever. At this point I could really give a crap because all I can think about is how much I’d really like to be back in bed right now because now I finally COULD go back to sleep. I am wearing a maternity top and black pajama pants to work. I’m pregnant, I can get away with that right? Besides it’s not like they have Tweety bird on them like my other jammies do, they’re black. Perfectly acceptable. Sort of. Oh and flip-flops because my feet are already too swollen to fit in any of my shoes and I can’t seem to bend over today to tie my sneakers. Yay.

Got PP off to Mima’s house with minimal additional pissyness and she even said she loved me. I think she felt guilty because she finally got a good look at me and realized the rings under my eyes had rings. She’s actually pretty empathetic for a pre-teen.

I have a 30-40 minute drive to work in fairly rural Vermont. I drive through 2 small towns and hit 1 4-way stop sign and 1 traffic light on my way. This is not a great driving route for someone as tired as I was this morning. I dozed off multiple times on the way to work and by the time I got to the office my face was all red from slapping myself. It probably would have been a good morning to stop for caffeine but because of  slow moving young adults who need to be reminded 18 times to feed the damn dog so he doesn’t steal my toast again, I was running late.

I dozed for an hour in my office this morning with my door closed. I am not proud of this fact but it was necessary or I absolutely would not have made it through the rest of my day. Amazingly enough, I did manage to intelligently answer 2 emails and help plan the office BBQ this Sunday while napping so go figure.

The rest of my morning was largely uneventful until the wasp showed up in my office. I am only mildly allergic to bees and wasps but they still freak me out and this was the second time this week one has inexplicably shown up in my office. This time? I got stung. On my toe. Seriously. And the worst thing? My damn feet are so swollen already the wasp sting swelling wasn’t even noticeable. It just hurt like hell. Still does in fact. I’m really tired and I’m really not wanting to be here right now and the stupid wasp is STILL IN HERE making waspy noises and staring at me menacingly.

And it’s only 1:43pm.

Joy.

MURTHERFURKING WASP JUST FLEW AT MY MURTHERFURKING HEAD.

That’s it I’m quitting my job.

Ok, that’s a bit much. I’ll just get someone to come kill the thing.

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