Just a reminder

I wrote this on my phone on Tuesday night because I’ve been home sick for the past few days and my laptop is basically fried so the only place I can actually post from is at work.

Last night was pretty bad. I spent most of it on the bathroom floor clutching my stomach and praying for some kind of relief from the incredible pain I was in. My digestive system has been fundamentally changed as a result of my weight loss surgery 3 years ago and thing like a simple stomach bug will knock me flat on my ass (or the bathroom floor apparently).  Add to this a compromised immune system from being pregnant and Tah-Dah!

Sexy, right? And I looked worse the next day.

Evil stomach pain accompanied by vomiting so violent I broke all the blood vessels surrounding my eyes. Joy. I even attempted work this morning because… Well basically because I’ve become incredibly stingy with my sick time. They. Sent. Me. Home. I looked that bad.

So here I am, laying in bed feeling sorry for myself. I’m tired, nauseous and I think I may have pulled some abdominal muscles with my epic retching last night. I hate being sick and so far being pregnant the second time around has kinda sucked. Then suddenly, the Moose decides that I need to be reminded how amazingly lucky I really am and starts doing some kind of complicated acrobatics that make me wonder if she’s going to be like her big sister who was always the one kid at the playground that was upside-down, climbing the swing set or at the veeeeeery tippy top of the monkey bars at the tender age of 3. (*Editor’s note… run-on much?) I digress.

Let me explain what a farking miracle the Moose is. As I have met plenty of couples who have struggled with infertility, I will NOT say we struggled a lot to get pregnant. I have PCOS which means I ovulate about 4 times a year and I never really know when it’s going to happen. We were lucky enough to be able to participate in a fertility study and after a minor surgery, a lot of doctors appointments and some truly sucktastic medication, I got knocked up in less than a year. I know people who have tried for years and have done much more invasive and expensive procedures with no luck so I refuse to complain about the time it took to get pregnant. It wasn’t easy, but it happened. And apparently, it happened twice because initially, the Moose was a twin. You see, I had what is called a heterotrophic (I actually am not positive I got that right)(*Editor’s note- I did NOT get that right, it’s hetrotropic) pregnancy. When I went in for an ultrasound at 5 weeks, standard for fertility patients with my doctor, the tech found one beautiful, strong, healthy heartbeat in my uterus… and one beautiful, strong, healthy heartbeat in my left fallopian tube. There is no saving an ectopic pregnancy and they account for 10% of maternal deaths during pregnancy. I had emergency surgery that night and they completely removed the left tube. If I had waited a few days longer, it would have ruptured and I could have lost both babies, any chance of having children in the future or even my own life. The fact that I am now 21 weeks pregnant with an active, healthy baby girl is truly an amazing thing that sadly I sometimes forget. (*Editor’s note- forget was a poor word choice, I think “take for granted” is a better choice here) The chance of having an ectopic pregnancy are not small, it’s likely some woman you know has had one. The chance of having a heterotrophic (*heterotropic) pregnancy with one in the womb and one in the tube? About 1 in 25,000. So yeah. She’s a damn miracle and I’m happy to feel like schmidt every day for the rest of this pregnancy if she continues to remind me just how amazingly lucky I am to have her and the one I’ve already got.


3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Trackback: Okay, so this time I think I was the one to blame. « newlifeinvermont
  2. Trackback: I don’t know how to put into words… « newlifeinvermont
  3. Trackback: Weird to the core « newlifeinvermont

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