Hi ho, Hi ho…

Back at work. Yay.

I’m dreading work today. Not just the whole, “It’s Monday, I feel like crap and I’d rather stay in bed” thing. When I left here on Friday I was… incapacitated. I was wheeled out of here on a gurney shaking, sweaty and pale. I realize that I had no control over what happened but I still feel extremely self-conscious about it. I do not like appearing weak.

I can guarantee that at least 10 times today I am going to hear the phrase, “How are you feeling?”

I don’t really want to answer that.

I’m feeling tired and sore and slightly nauseous but mostly I’m feeling scared because I still don’t actually know what happened to me or if it will happen again. If it is what I think it was, i.e. a bowel obstruction, there is a very good chance it WILL happen again. And because of the Moose, I’m not exactly sure what all they can do about it. A full obstruction would likely require immediate surgery, but a partial obstruction? I honestly don’t know. My mom opined that they wouldn’t risk surgery this close to the end of the pregnancy and would probably find some alternative to hold it off (read; bedrest and a liquid diet). I don’t even know what they can do at this point to diagnose anything without exploratory surgery.

So yeah. I don’t really want to talk about it too much. Because I’m sore. And Tired. And scared. And I’m likely to start sharing my fears with you if you ask me how I’m feeling, so unless you really want a 20 minute conversation about what MIGHT be wrong with me, don’t ask.

I’m going to hide in my office and do as little as possible.

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