Some things I’ve learned since getting married

The Zen Master and I have been married for a little over a year and I have noticed lately that as we grow as a couple, odd revelations keep coming up. I thought I would share. A lot of them seem like common sense and I honestly have no idea if other couples have these tiny epiphanys but these have all rung true for me.

  1. And this is just the CLEAN stuff…

    Be specific. I am constantly getting annoyed with ZM because he takes everything I say at face value. If I need him to pick something up from the store without specifying brand/size/etc he will come back with the fastest or cheapest thing, not neccesarily the right thing.  If I ask him to do the laundry, he will do the laundry… but not fold it. Talk to my husband Randy the Laundry Fairy.

  2. Say thank you. In my houshold, there is somewhat of a role reversal since I am the primary wage earner and although the Zen Master works full-time, he’s home a lot more than I am and tends to be less stressed and tired. While he has his lazy days, he will frequently take it upon himself to clean, do chores I haven’t mentioned and generally keep the house in order. I am extremely grateful for this but I very rarely actually tell him so. This results in him feeling like a douche and stopping any work around the house at all which results in me becoming a grumpy B.

Your partner is NOT a mind reader. This seems like a “duh” kinda thing but it seriously has been an issue for me. I get extremely frustrated because I feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders and the Zen Master is refusing to help me when in fact, the reality is he is happy to help me… If he actually KNEW that I needed help.

  • “Dad Clean” and “Mom Clean” are two completely different things. Zen Master will “Dad Clean” the house and I will be disgusted because while he neatly bundled all the cords behind the TV and our (multiple) gaming systems, he completely overlooked the baseball-sized foofs of dog hair surrounding the cords.
  • Despite my oaths that it would never happen to US, things, um… Shall we say “slow down?” in the bedroom department. Life is busy, sh** happens and sometimes both of you would really rather just go to sleep.
  • Hugs are ALWAYS good, even when you’re mad. Does that one really need an explanation?
  • Gender equality is not what I thought it was. I honestly am ashamed to say it but my husband does the “guy stuff” around our house. He mows the lawn, takes care of small repairs, shovels the walk and takes out the garbage. I used to do all that crap myself and you know what? I am really glad I don’t have to do it anymore.
  • It’s kinda weird the things you get comfortable doing in front of your partner. I was never particularly prissy but I never thought I’d be comfortable going pee while someone else brushes their teeth. Who knew? I. Just. Don’t. Care.
  • Hmm… I think I’ll leave it on that note. Honestly there are so many weird little things you notice with married life but they all become routine so fast I can’t remember most of them. Something new every day though…

    I actually bought him a t-shirt with this on it for his birthday last year. He wears it to WORK. I love my husband.


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    1. Trackback: Mars… Venus… Yeah, we get it. « newlifeinvermont

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