Sleep Deprivation I am your Bitch.

I love my Peach. She is the epitome of amazing and I spend many hours of my days just gazing at her tiny face. Babies are so cool at this point in their development because they have all the necessary muscles in their faces and extremities to make things move yet absolutely no control over anything. Watching the wide range of expressions that cross her face as she attempts to get her tiny fist into her tiny mouth is at the very least amusing and if I’m feeling more cognitively intact it’s a practical lesson in microexpressions and cultural anthropology.
The NOT cool thing about babies at this point in their development? No sense of time. None. No day, no night, no hour or minute. There is just immediate need and the desire to satisfy it. At this point she doesn’t know what it is she needs either so there is an equal amount of anger and frustration from tiredness, a wet diaper, an empty belly, gas or the need to poop. She has also figured out that Mommy takes care of the stuff that makes her uncomfortable so it’s better if Mommy doesn’t put her down. At all.
I am enchanted by this little person, and totally awed that she puts so much faith in me. She seems perfectly content to sit in my lap and stare at my face while she tries to figure out which muscles to move to make a smile. It’s completely awesome.
But… Today, after a night of sleeping 15-20 minutes at a stretch and a day of the same, I almost gave my daughter a bottle of soapy water. Apparently I forgot that part of the whole cleaning and fixing a bottle meant I had to rinse it and put more formula in it.
Oh and I found my hairbrush in the freezer. Not sure how that happened.
I think I got spoiled. She was so good the first few days, I was hoping she’d bed one of those kids who slept through the night at 2 months. Who knows, she still could be, but right now I’m in new mom daze and even if she does sleep for more than 20 minutes, I still can’t sleep because I know the second I fall asleep she will wake up.
Mom stayed over the other night so I could get a little sleep. That was nice but the restful feeling rapidly evaporated and I’m left again in the dark-eye-circle stupor that is commonplace for mothers of babies this age. So… That’s why I haven’t posted in a couple days. I actually have had stuff to post but since my laptop is dead, I have to post from my smart phone and after I wrote an entire post on my swype keyboard (no small feat) then accidentally deleted it because it is just a damn phone afterall, I decided I just don’t possess the mental acuity to deal with it right now.
You know what though?
Still wouldn’t change it for anything.



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