Heading Back to the World

This is it…

I start back work on Monday.

I have mixed feelings about this.

Mainly, I’m a little bit nervous about re-integrating myself into the outside world. I’ve been in the infant cocoon for 8 weeks now and I am concerned that going back to an actual adult life with adult conversations, responsibilities and schedules will overwhelm my now mushy brain.

I’m going to miss The Peach. A lot. It’s weird how She’s only been here for 2 months and yet I can’t imagine our lives without her. She is a joy and not only that, she is changing and growing every day at an alarming rate. So fast that I feel if I am away from her for even an hours she will be a different baby when I get back. I’m afraid of missing something important, some milestone that I should be there for.  This is of course the dilemma of every working mother,  balancing the need to provide an income for your family that will keep a roof over your head and the need for actual adult interaction with the desire to cherish every single moment with your children, to be there for every smile, every laugh, every skinned knee and sad little sniffle.

On the other hand…

I am super excited to go back to a normal routine, to be able to interact with others and to finally do something that I have no doubt I’m good at. I’ve had some doubts about my abilities as a mom and homemaker but at work? At work I’m the bomb. I know my job and I’m damn good at it.

I have to say, I also have some doubts about my energy level. I find that I seem to get tired out a lot faster than I did before and I’m hoping that I can actually make it through a work day without completely passing out.

It will be nice to have money again. We have dipped into savings more than we had expected and although we still have enough to cover bills, money is tighter than usual and we’re definitely feeling the crunch. Unfortunately it will be April before I actually see a paycheck again.

As much as I am accustomed to jumping head first, full steam into everything, I think I’m going to force myself to take it easy for a week or so until I get my brain and body back into “work mode.” I will actually probably have little choice in the matter anyway since it’ll take some time for me to accumulate enough work to be super busy again.

Hi-ho, hi-ho… you know the rest. And I refuse to whistle.


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