He’ll get it eventually… Right?

Best bedtime story EVER

I think I may have mentioned once or twice that The Peach doesn’t sleep well at night. The Zen Master does share in the overnight duties despite his early morning schedule. Here’s the thing… Since The Peach wakes up several times during the night and tends to stay up for at least an hour each time, when I get up with her I get her comfortable (generally a diaper change and a bottle) with as little stimulation as possible. I get her before she gets really worked up, keep my voice down, keep the lights off and avoid disturbing her as much as possible. As a result, she will generally stay half asleep and will fall back to sleep fairly easily. The Zen Master? This is what he does…

Peach starts fussing over the monitor. The Zen Master gets out of bed, goes into her room and sticks the binky in her mouth. Climbs back into bed within 90 seconds and falls back to sleep immediately.

Within about 10 minutes, The Peach realizes she’s not actually going to get any formula out of the binky and spits it out. At this point she is fully awake and is now aware that she is not only hungry but is encased in a very smooshy, uncomfortable and wet diaper. She is now pissed off. She bypasses fussing completely and belts out a full blown police-siren-like scream. This gets both The Zen Master and I out of bed at which pint we decide who is more tired and which one of us will go get her. If The Zen Master takes up the task, he goes into the kitchen, pops a bottle in the microwave for 15 seconds and heads down to her room.

Um... No.

He will then turn the light on and proceed to change her diaper while cooing at her and talking the whole time. I know this because I can hear him on the monitor (which BTW does not make it easy for me to go back to sleep). If she calms down, he will tickle her and make goo-goo eyes at her until she starts smiling and shows him just how alert she can be. He’ll give her a bottle and she will spend the next hour or so in her bouncy seat, kicking her legs like she’s having a seizure, cooing and fixating on her monkey (she loves that friggin thing, she’ll bawl if you hide it). Eventually she’ll get tired, take another bottle and take another 20 minutes or so to fall back to sleep. If she doesn’t calm down, she will continue to scream and will work herself up to the point where she won’t even take the bottle. When he finally gets her calm enough to take her bottle, she is so hungry she will drink frantically and swallow a ridiculous amount of air. This of course gives her a bellyache and she will spend the next hour or so intermittently fussing and dozing off. When she is in this state, he can give up on going back to bed at all. Even when she does finally fall asleep, she WILL NOT be put down. If he even tries to put her in her crib she will immediately start crying. Loudly. This was the way things went this morning and I came out of the bedroom at about 5am to find a bleary-eyed Zen Master on the couch with a restless Peach in the cradle on the floor.

“I have to put the binky back in her mouth every time she spits it out or she starts crying again.” This tends to happen between 5 and 10 times an hour.

Maybe if he has a couple more nights like this he’ll get the idea?

Good luck there buddy.

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