Friends

I may have mentioned before my history of poor social skills and few if any friends… Until the last few years…

I had the pleasure of seeing one of my friends today that I haven’t seen in awhile. I used to see her everyday since… well, she worked here. She has since moved on to a different job that suits her better and that I gather she is pretty damn good at. One of the problems with friends from work is, when you don’t work together anymore, it’s hard to maintain the friendship. It’s like someone moves away, people get busy and relationships fizzle.

It’s one of the reasons why I don’t have too many friends. I don’t tend to trust the relationships I do have.

Here’s the thing…

Since I’ve become a grown-up, more responsible and got-my-schmidt-together person, the kind of people I end up associating with tend to be of a higher caliber than the people I could depend on to let me down a few years back. I have friends now. And I like them. I can have interesting, intelligent and stimulating conversations or I can kick back and have a beer. Cuz they’re my friends. And they actually like who I am, not who I pretend to be or what I drive or who else I hang out with.

I’ve been all baby’d out lately and even though I’m back to work I haven’t done a lot of socializing. When I’m depressed or not doing well, I don’t want to burden everyone else with my issues. I don’t want to be the “whiney girl.” I am finally at a point in my life and my overall mental health where I actually enjoy the company of other people. Most other people at least. I actually look forward to seeing my friends and I’ll even (gasp) call them every now and then. My life is going pretty good now, I’m happy and I finally feel like my presence isn’t a sucking vacuum to other people.

That’s so sweet it made me nauseous.

So it was nice to see my friend today. And although we haven’t had a lot of contact lately, it was nice to actually believe her when she said she’d call me so we could hang out. I really appreciate that feeling and I am amazed at how I used to think it was normal for people to say “Oh yeah, I’ll call you…” and then… Not.

I think I’m pretty lucky. Not only am I lucky to have friends in the first place, but I’m lucky that I remember haw shitty it was to have pseudo-friends because it makes me appreciate the friends I have now that much more.

Was that sappy?

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