Finding my moment of Zen

I think I may have mentioned, I love my husband.

I actually asked him out on MySpace. I was about a year post weight loss surgery and I was just really starting to feel more comfortable in my new body. I still felt unattractive and totally awkward but I had hit a place in my life where I felt like I was finally in control of my own life. I had a home, a job, things were going well with Princess Punk (she had yet to meet The D-Monster) and I finally felt like things were settling down. I wasn’t looking for anyone. Probably for the first time in my life, I was okay with being single. I knew The Zen Master from Princess Punk’s Tae Kwon Do class and I had seen him walking around town. He was quiet and cute and extremely geeky. I saw his MySpace page and realized he would probably be pretty cool to hang out with. He was interested in a lot of the same stuff as me but he also had other interests that made him interesting as a person. He was interested in studying other languages and cultures, he studied martial arts (well duh) and he had extremely eclectic taste in music (think NIN to Japanese pop). So I asked him out via email.

Cuz I’m a chicken shit.

He sent me a response, something like “That sounds like a good idea but I need to let you know, I am seeing someone else.”

My response to that?

“No problem, I just thought we could hang out. It’s not like I’m asking you to marry me or anything.”

He was in an open relationship with another, older woman and things with her were… Let’s just say, “complicated.”

We dated casually for awhile, hung out, went to movies, played pool, talked for hours on the phone. I learned quickly about his wicked sense of humor and the fact that he was just as much of a pervert as I was. You would seriously never look at this man and think he was anything but innocent.

I fell for him. Hard.

And he fell for me too, but being the cautious man that he is, he took things more slowly, dipped in a toe instead of taking the cannonball approach that I did. There was some drama and even some brief heartbreak with the “other woman” when I figured out that yes, I really DID mind that he was seeing someone else. He was the first person I ever even remotely had the desire to be faithful to. I recall going out with another guy at one point and hitting the blinding truth that I simply didn’t need anyone else.

I told him he loved me before he actually said it. He struggled with it. He was shy and didn’t have a lot of experience and he had never actually been in love before. That he knew of anyway. There were some feelings spent with “the other woman,” and in fact the first time he told me he loved me was actually painful because he was admitting to himself (and me) that he loved her too. But after some soul searching, he moved on and then later, moved in.

He proposed to me on Valentine’s Day. In the parking lot at Friendly’s. In the snow. He had apparently been working up the nerve all night. I went up to the car and turned around and he was on one knee. My first reaction (because I’m an asshole) was, “What the fuck are you doi…??” And then I saw the ring. Which in his nervousness he was holding upside-down. And it was the perfect ring too. A gorgeous, solitary, teardrop shaped sapphire in a white-gold setting. I don’t do diamonds. It’s simple and elegant and perfect and still, every time I look at it I smile because it’s so right, just like us.

And we got married. In a beautiful ceremony, outside in my parents’ wildflower meadow.

Two years ago today.

Happy Anniversary to us.


4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. blackcatsandbuttons
    Jul 17, 2012 @ 22:10:35

    Happy anniversary 🙂


  2. coffeepoweredmom
    Jul 21, 2012 @ 09:55:12

    Happy Anniversary! That’s so cute! Especially that he was holding it upside down, hahaha. Oh, how special it all is.


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