Sticks and stones my ass

My life, having been what is is, having dealt with what I’ve gone through in the past 25 years, I know that words really do hurt.

What I have noticed as I’ve gotten older and wiser more experienced is that it begins to  matter less what the words are and more who they come from. It no longer phases me when ignorant idiots spout off about things that really just don’t matter to me anymore. But when someone I know, someone I respect, criticizes me in a manner that seems (to me at least) harsh, it cuts like a knife.

I posted pictures of Princess Punk’s affliction on my facebook page. The same ones I posted on my blog a few days ago. I admit it was probably bad judgement on my part although my intentions were good. I was hoping to get sympathy and support for The Princess and maybe even some advice on what caused the problem and what we might do to help her. I did. I got about 15 comments overall showing love and concern for Princess Punk, well wishes and heartfelt compassion and a few suggestions on causes and things to try to ease her discomfort. I also got a few good-naturedly snarky comments from The Princess herself which I responded to in kind. I know, especially given her self consciousness about the hives, I should have checked with her before I posted the pics. Quite a few of her friends are on my friends list, including her boyfriend (I still have trouble saying that). I didn’t tag her or anything and all of her friends have seen her and most have seen her much worse than that. When she went to the dance on Friday, her lips were all swollen (didn’t stop her from having a good time though). I am still ok with them on my blog since none of her friends even know about it let alone read it and Her Majesty herself doesn’t really care.

But on one of the pics, there was a comment that really stung. It basically agreed with one of PP’s snarky comments and then stated it was really tacky of me to post the pictures. I really think I would have just brushed it off if it had been posted by someone else, but it was a comment from someone who’s opinion really matters to me. A person who is a close friend of My Dad (who is, as I’ve said before, the one person I crave approval from above all others) and someone who has known me literally my entire life. In addition to that, he is someone who I think is a really great parent. His relationship with his (now college-age) son is amazing to me and I aspire to have that kind of connection with The Princess some day. So for him to say that, about the way I am dealing with my kiddo… It kinda hit me right where it hurts. I admit I probably went about the whole picture thing the wrong way, but I never thought of it as tacky.

tack·y

adjective, tack·i·er, tack·i·est.

1. not tasteful or fashionable; dowdy.
2. shabby in appearance; shoddy: a tacky, jerry-built housing development.
3. crass; cheaply vulgar; tasteless; crude.
4. gaudy; flashy; showy.

Ouch.

I took the photos down. Princess Punk never said anything about it other than her comments on the pics but I honestly was so crushed by that one stupid word, I figured I should probably just wipe the slate clean.

So I’m sorry. And shamed. And I feel like a total douche. And I’m kinda hoping I don’t talk to him anytime soon because knowing me, I’m likely to blurt out something defensive and blubbery and make a total ass of myself and he won’t even remember having said it in the first place.

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