My refuge on Kapiti Plain

The Peach is getting baptized this Sunday. I’m still trying to figure out where the hell I’m going on my spiritual journey (bad choice of words?) but I’ve always had some comfort in the episcopal church and it feels right to bring The Peach that opportunity as well. Anyway, I met with the pastor today to iron out some details and ended up having a 90 minute discussion about where my faith was and what I want or even need from God or whatever higher power is out there. I kinda came to an epiphany albeit a small one that what I want, what I desperately desire is a parent. Not to speak ill of My Parents, I love them without question or reservation. But now? Now, in my jumble of a life, where joy and love and catastrophe and despair all lump together in one giant clusterfuck that I can’t seem to get some kind of handle on? Now… I just want Someone (that would be the capital “S” someone) to hold my hand and let me know that everything is going to be OK. And for me to be able to believe it, to trust it, to have faith in that statement.
And tonight, I laid in my bed with The Zen Master and Princess Punk and The Peach and watched my girls play with each other, teenager and toddler(almost) until The Peach decided she was sleepy, grabbed her Elly (a grungy elephant blankie thingy) and started thrashing around until I snagged her into a snuggle/wrestling hold. And there we all were, The Zen Master on one side with The Princess snuggled into him with one hand on her sister who was snuggled into me on the other end. And I told the story, the story I tell The Peach almost every night, a story My Mom read to me so often I had it memorized.
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“This is the great Kapiti Plain, all fresh and green from the African rains. With a sea of grass for ground birds to nest in, and patches of shade for wild creatures to rest in. With Acacia trees for giraffes to browse on, and pastures for herdsmen to pasture their cows on.
But one year the rains were so very belated, that all of the big wild creatures migrated. And this is Ki-Pat, who ended the drought, and this story tells how it all came about…”

The cadence of the story is beautiful and, like a lullaby, puts Peach to sleep every time.
And as I laid there, with my girls falling asleep between me and my husband, I felt, for a brief moment at least, my hand being held and feeling that yes, everything is going to be OK.
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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Trackback: Manipulation… Manipulaayyayyshun… Is makin’ me late… | newlifeinvermont
  2. Trackback: Sometimes it just hits me | newlifeinvermont

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