The Princess and The Pig

Princess Punk sitting on the couch with me debating the finer points of Angry Birds…

“I just don’t get it. I can never get the stupid birds to go where I want them to. They’re all, ‘fuck you, I’m going that way.’ and it’s annoying.”

“I never aim, I just shoot them wherever.”

“Well then, what’s the point?”

“So I can get the stupid pigs. I hate pigs they’re so ugly and gross”

“Pigs aren’t ugly they’re cute!”

“Well little pigs are cute but then they get all big and fat and gross. And then they’re all, (Fat Bastard voice) ‘look at me I got bacon in my belly…'” (evil chuckle)

I laughed so loud The Zen Master knocked over his beer in the next room.

“What? Why was that so funny?”

“Do you know where bacon comes from? The pigs stomach…”


(30 seconds pass)

“Oooooohhh… Hahahahahahaha… I get it now!”

A conversational lull ensued involving me playing solitare and Princess Punk randomly interjecting bizarre phrases that brought to mind a 13-year-old Weird Al Yankovic with Tourettes. A brief moment of silence and then…

“Hey mom, guess what??”


“Awkward Turtle!”

Ah, quality time.



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