Oops I did it again…

filterI apparently have no tact.

Okay, I knew that.

I tend to forget that not everyone is as… candid as I am with personal information. So I forget that asking someone how they have been doing concerning a chronic health issue might not be appropriate in the presence of others. Especially someone who I know is a private person. I don’t intend to make people feel uncomfortable or awkward, it just doesn’t occur to me sometimes. “So Johnny, how are those hemorrhoids treating you?” might not be the best thing to loudly inquire in the midst of a crowded room. Some people actually keep that kind of thing private. Johnny might not have a public blog where he recounts his trials and tribulations about inflamed hemorrhoidal tissue for the whole world to see… um… read. I meant read. Even I don’t go that far.

Yeah SpongeBob, I probably should.

Yeah SpongeBob, I probably should.

My brain-to-mouth filter has always been a little faulty. I speak without thinking, usually with the best intentions but often with unfortunate results. I really don’t mean to blurt things out like that but that little caution light in my brain that says “Danger! You’re going to be rude!” is kind of… in need of repair. Worse so lately. I dunno if it’s my brain being all preoccupied with the ever-increasing, never-ending pain, but I seem to be even less tactful than my usual awkward self. I’ve been feeling ineffective in my communication both at home and at work. Like I’m unable to articulate in way that my children and my coworkers won’t dismiss as random ramblings. funny-dolphin-brain-bubbleThis in turn is making me more insecure about what I have to say in general and I’m starting to get the impression that I am either coming across to people as a complete asshole, or a complete idiot. Maybe both. It’s quite likely that I’m not truly being perceived this way. That my insecurities about all things having to do with social interaction are rearing their ugly little heads and making me feel like an asshole when really I’m just kind of… indelicate.  Today, after being insensitive to a friend’s privacy,  I came to the conclusion that I should follow The Red Queen’s order and only speak when spoken to. At this point I think I’d rather come across as stand-offish than as a heartless degenerate.


And that’s another reason why my blog is so important to me. Because somehow, when I write, I’m able to be intelligent and articulate and funny. At least the majority of the time. And that makes me feel a little bit better. Because I’m not really a jerk, I’m just a conversational klutz.



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