A few things I’ve learned about driving in Vermmont

Ok, first a disclaimer…

None of these things are in any way suggestions or recommendations for how you should drive here. They’re just things I’ve picked up along the way and conclusions I’ve come to.

  1. A dirt road in mud season can be more treacherous than a highway in an ice storm.
  2. If there’s a moose in the road you’re probably already screwed but if you aim dead center and speed up you might have a better chance of not having a very large animal explode through your windshield. Just explode all over it.
  3. Moose are usually alone. If a deer runs out in front of you, slow the fuck down, there will be more.
  4. Snow tires do not mean you can drive 60mph in a storm.
  5. Sometimes it’s a good thing to be stuck behind a snow plow.
  6. It is never a good thing to be stuck behind a manure spreader.
  7. Pot holes can break the axle of your car
  8. Pot holes get worse really fast. The minor hole you hit yesterday is now a back-breaking crater that will kill your car.
  9. Washboarding is not a bluegrass music technique.
  10. Snow hides ice. Well.
  11. Snow is slipperier (is that even a word?) when it’s 35 degrees outside
  12. Snow is deadly when it’s 40 degrees outside.
  13. Snow doesn’t melt away when it’s 40 degrees outside unless it’s been 40 degrees outside for more than a day.
  14. Even when snow on the road is melting, shaded areas can still be snowy. And unexpected.
  15. People who ride snowmobiles are often drunk and do not pay attention to oncoming traffic.
  16. Be wary of holidays and nice weather, tourists are stupid.
  17. You have to stop for pedestrians at crosswalks.
  18. You can tell the locals from the tourists because a tourist smiles when you stop at the crosswalk and a local curses if you don’t.
  19. Bikes wobble on steep hills. A Lot.
  20. 4-way stop means 1, 2, 3 and then go.

I’m amazed I’ve survived this long.

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Meghan
    Mar 12, 2013 @ 07:43:24

    I’m from Vermont and these are oh so familiar 🙂 In Boston now and glad I don’t have to deal with the upcoming mud season! Good luck!

    Reply

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