Money Woes

I just want to put this out there,

I complain about our financial situation. I complain because it’s not fair. Because it’s stupid that in this country, a hard-working family of 4 are not able to make it through the month without some kind of financial fuck-up.

I don’t complain because I want a hand-out. I don’t complain because I want people to feel sorry for me. In fact, most of the time when I complain, I look back at my post and feel like a whiny asshole because we struggle but plenty of people struggle more.

And I complain because it pisses me off. Because I’ve worked really, really hard to be the person I am today. I have an education, a really good job that I excel at, a wonderful, mostly stable family, generally good health and I own my own home. 6 years ago, I was struggling in school, morbidly obese, a single mom, sponging off my parents, irresponsible and I couldn’t keep a job for more than a few months. I feel we shouldn’t have to get help. That we shouldn’t be struggling like this. Like accepting any kind of help is a step back to where I used to be.

Logically, I know that we do our best and we are not looking for handouts or being lazy or irresponsible. I look at my sister-in-law and it drives me crazy because she’s got 3 kids, gets child support and assistance for fuel and food (I think) and she smokes about a pack a day and drinks about a liter of soda a day. Not even looking at the fact that those are both really unhealthy life choices, she throws away a ton of money on that stuff. She works hard (seasonally like The Zen Master), but she gets a lot of help. She’s not lazy, and I love her to death, but sometimes I feel like accepting any kind of help will make me more like her than the person I want to be.

I chose a career that I love and thrive in but I knew was never going to give me a great salary. And I chose to marry for love and happiness, not financial security. And those are examples I want to set for my girls. Part of me feels like complaining or accepting help is showing them that they can’t pursue their lives the way they want to and still expect to make it.

So. Yeah. I think congress should reaad this.

Not that they’d pay attention.

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