I think I was in my 20’s the last time I did this

All through high school and college, I listened to music constantly, and, as most kids that age do, I related it to my own life. And I would post song lyrics on MySpace because that’s how I was feeling and I didn’t know how to express it myself.

And today, I had Pandora on in the background at work and I heard “In The End” from Linkin Park. And all of a sudden, I started to cry. And then I recalled another Linkin Park song (because they are all kinda angsty after all) that I had always liked and I cried some more. And I figured what the hell, I’ll regress a bit and post the lyrics on my blog, because, in all honesty, they really do reflect where my head is at right now and I really don’t seem to have the capacity to express it in my own words.

“Numb” Linkin Park, Meteora (2003)

I’m tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface
Don’t know what you’re expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)

[Chorus:]
I’ve become so numb, I can’t feel you there
Become so tired, so much more aware
I’m becoming this, all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

Can’t you see that you’re smothering me,
Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control?
‘Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you.
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you.
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
And every second I waste is more than I can take.

[Chorus:]
I’ve become so numb, I can’t feel you there,
Become so tired, so much more aware
I’m becoming this, all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you.

And I know
I may end up failing too.
But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you.

[Chorus:]
I’ve become so numb, I can’t feel you there,
Become so tired, so much more aware.
I’m becoming this, all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you.

[Chorus:]
I’ve become so numb, I can’t feel you there.
(I’m tired of being what you want me to be)
I’ve become so numb, I can’t feel you there.
(I’m tired of being what you want me to be)

Okay. Done with my regression into immature youth.

Thanks for enduring.

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