The fragility of a teen’s self-esteem

I should SO know better.

I grew up being constantly criticized for my weight.

And I know that sometimes I say things and they come out completely wrong and I end up sounding like an asshole.

So I really shouldn’t have told Princess Punk that she really needs to eat healthy because she was genetically predispositioned to gaining weight. What I said was,

“I just don’t want you to get fat like I was.”

What she heard was,

“You’re getting fat.”

She had a dance last week. And since we had to buy new shoes for The Peach because she had spontaneously outgrown every single pair of shoes she owned, I told The Princess I’d splurge (at KMart) and get her a dress for the dance. BTW… NEVER going to KMart again. But that’s another story.

So we’re in KMart looking at stuff and chasing around The Peach as she runs around squealing like a piglet in white patent leather shoes. And Princess Punk is sullenly declining each dress I show her (of which there are about 6 in the whole store) and I’m wondering what the hell is wrong. So I ask her…

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

“You told me I was fat and I am just gonna look fat in everything.”

And then she started crying.

This girl young woman is probably one of the fittest people  know. She is a born athlete. She is solid and strong and yet as well-proportioned as a coke bottle. She has long, muscular legs and a flat stomach and a pretty big ass. Now… granted… all of her friends are of the caucasian persuasion and half of them wear a size 4 or less. And even though she’s 5’3″ and the shortest of them all, she just looks bigger. So I can see where she might be ultra-sensitive when it comes to size.

And the cards are stacked against her in the genetics department. The women on Sperm Donor’s side of the DNA strand are built like the stereotypical southern Black woman. Big boobs, big butts with progressively larger (but proportioned) measurements as they get older. I don’t think a single one of them over the age of 18 was less than a size 20.

And my side? Me, My Mom and my aunt ALL had weight loss surgery.

Princess Punk? She’s 14. And she’s in great shape. So I should just shut up about it, cuz she’s sure as hell doing better than I was at her age. She’s gorgeous. She should never feel anything less than that. And shame on me for perpetuating the feelings of inadequacy that were thrust on me.

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