What else?

$500 (or more) plumbing bill. We won’t exactly know until they’re done cutting through the bathroom wall and retouching a couple feet of pipe. I’m seriously considering completely nixing Princess Punk’s trip. I don’t know what else to do.
God? Can we just catch a break? PLEASE?
ETA… Excuse me. At least $800. I apparently want counting the labor yesterday AND today. Fuck. Me.



So, I guess I hadn’t finished seeing up my gofundme account and it wasn’t accepting donations. Let’s try this again!
Princess Punk’s Europtrip!


You know I’m getting desperate when…

I start posting personal stuff on my blog… Okay, I ALWAYS post personal stuff. I mean personal information stuff.

So here’s the thing. One of the numerous reasons I’ve been lax on posting lately is (yet again) struggles with finances.

I love my house. I really do. It’s in a perfect location and it’s the right house for my girls. But it is costing us SO MUCH GODDAMN MONEY. Did you ever see that movie “The Money Pit?” That’s kind of what I’m feeling like at the moment. One thing after another, after another, after another.



We got an energy improvement loan and got a pellet stove. Unfortunately, we apparently should have replaced some doors and added some more insulation to the house first. And maybe put the stove in a different location. Because last week, we ran out of oil, a few days before we were due for a fill. Which means we’re actually using MORE oil to heat rather than less.

Granted, it has been painfully cold this winter, like, I-almost-miss-Florida-cold. But not quite. But regardless, the drafts and poor insulation in the house are drowning out the moderate amount of heat the little stove is cranking out. And of course, since the house was built in 1949 with addition after addition after addition put on, the footprint on the main floor has lots of angles and the hot air that is actually beating out the drafts is really only able to heat one room.

So the oil bill is still pretty high and our electric/water/sewer (all in one) is through the roof since we’re having to use space heaters in all the minus-fuck-you temperatures we’ve had the past few months.

My Mom finally got the bill for the divorce lawyer. $1000 for not much of any help at all. Mom did most of the legwork. They didn’t even go to court with her.

We’re desperately trying to sell our old house since our tenants are on a month-to-month lease right now (the only way they would agree to let us have the house on the market), and even if we sell it at the asking price, we’ll only walk away with enough to pay some of our debt down. Like, less than half. I’m basically losing my entire down payment, which was my inheritance from my grandmother. Joy.

Taxes. Oh taxes. oh, oh, OH MY GOD TAXES. My Mom has been getting a good amount of alimony from That Man since the divorce. According to the judges (3 of them in complete agreement) even the settlement she got, which was more than she asked for, was not anywhere near an equitable one, to his advantage. And here’s the really unfair part. He gets to deduct it from his taxes. All of it. He’s most definitely going to get a refund this year. My Mom? She has to pay income tax on what she’s received. Which we’ve put nothing aside for.   Our tax bill could be as much as $5000 (Maybe more? Hope not). But we honestly have no idea. And the accountant is going to cost us $550 just for basics. And unfortunately, H&R Block is, IMHO, not equipped to handle the huge clusterfuck of alimony, rent, property tax, medical bills, medical premiums and various other craptastic stuff. Plus, they’ll likely charge us as 2 households anyway which will be almost as much as a CPA.

Finally… And the reason for my begging and pleading post today….

Princess Punk is going to Barcelona. Hopefully. This is a beyond incredible opportunity for her. And we’ve done a lot of fundraising and belt tightening and no-more-morning-Dunkins-Mrs. Newlife. But here’s the thing… My Mom has to go too. Because of the horrible D-Monster, we need to send a chaperone on the trip who is closely acquainted with Princess Punk’s personal issues with blood sugar regulation, low and high numbers, the effect of sports on her sugar, hormones, stress, travel… Etc. I can’t go and The Zen Master can’t go because of our respective jobs. So it falls on My Mom. It’s $2500 for each of them. Which includes a lot. Airfare, most meals, hotel and entry fees to various tournaments and games. But not incidentals, like say, Princess Punk’s passport. Oh. I didn’t mention the reason did I? Okay. ADD much? Anyway. This trip is for her high school soccer team through the local soccer club. She will have the opportunity to play against European soccer… Excuse me… Football teams. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity for her. This is a chance to get her skills up, a chance to make the varsity team for real next year, a high mark to put on her college applications, a chance opportunity that could help her land a scholarship in 3 years. This. Is. Important.

And yeah, I know there are tons of people out there reading this saying, “WTF is wrong with you, save your money for something else… Like bills!” But this is important. I’d even say vital to the future of my Princess. We don’t have money for a college fund. The Princess has decent grades (finally) but not good enough to get a scholarship. She doesn’t test well so a 1600 on the SAT is just unrealistic. This trip is a HUGE step towards her being able to get into a good (even just decent) college. So it’s more important than taxes, or bills, or credit cards, or house repairs. Because this is a step toward a future for my Princess. And she deserves it.


So here I am. Begging for donations. And I hate that. I hate asking for money. I truly do. Because there are so many more out there worse off than I am. So maybe, IF you decide to take pity on me and make a donation, you can make a donation to JDRF or the American Diabetes Association too. Because that’s the main reason we’re getting killed on this.





Thank you!

The aftermath

I struggled with horrible chronic headaches and jaw pain for a long time. Like a day when the pain level got down to a 3 was a good day. Like it never went away. Ever. And then I had surgery in April of 2013. And the pain… Stopped. Like overnight. No more jaw pain. No more headache. Sure, I still had neck and back pain, but that was manageable. No biggie. The awful, never-ending, “somebody fucking kill me now and put me out of misery” pain was gone. Just like that.
And then, four short months later, my father assaulted me. And one of the things that happened was his fist, hitting my left jaw.
And shortly thereafter, the pain began creeping back. And tonight, I lay here in bed crying, watching the light show on my left side from the inflammation impinging on my optic nerve. And this pain is all too familiar. And I’ll have to have another surgery. Because the joint didn’t heal properly and now it’s just as bad as before.
And it’s not fucking fair. Because he walked away. He’s not even going to have a criminal record in another few months. I can’t even get the new surgery because I’m still paying for the last one.
So I’m angry. And I fucking hurt.
Done bitching now.