Not a foodie photo

This is what I woke up to when my alarm went off at 5:15 this morning…

This is the remains of the Eggplant Parm I ate at 3am. Yeah. 3.

I had a nightmare that woke me up at about 1am. I don’t remember what it was, only that I woke up clammy and scared. Now that I think about it though, It might not have been a nightmare. We had a big dead tree in our front yard come down with the shitty storm we had at some point last night. Maybe it was the CRACK of that 1′ diameter tree trunk breaking. Whatever it was, I woke up.

Then the anxiety kicked in. I cannot begin to tell you where my brain started the thread, but it ended up with me, The Zen Master and The Peach living in one FEMA trailer and My Mom living in a second. I think it was at that point that I decided to eat instead of listening to my brain go down another rabbit hole. I haven’t been that deeply entrenched in anxiety in years, at least not while sober.

So I ate. And ate again. And then I played a match 3 game on my Kindle until the sound of it dropping on the floor woke me up for about 3 seconds. I think I finally was asleep by 4?

So now I’m tired. But since today was a short day at work (I work 10’s M,T,W and am therefore able to leave at 11:30 Th & F) and I saw my therapist (who I’ve only been seeing for a few months but who is FREAKING AWESOME), I’m at least in a decent mood. And it’s Big Bro’s birthday. And Princess Punk is coming for dinner too, and we are lucky to see her once a week now (I’ll get to her update soon enough). So I’m anticipating a nice night and, given that I spent last Sunday doing heavy cleaning, a hopefully mostly lazy weekend. Maybe I’ll compose a couple of posts. I’m kinda enjoying this whole catching up thing. It’s nice to look back on the people in my life over the last few years and see how much things have changed… Or stayed the same.

 

Just a Reminder…

Pros and Cons of living in VT… The Sequel

So… Almost 2 years ago, I wrote a post called, “The pros and cons of living in rural Vermont.”

Shit. I can’t believe I’ve been writing this blog for over 2 years…

Anyway, that post remains, to this day, the most viewed, searched, visited and commented-on post on my blog. I get at least 10 hits a week on that post and I continue to get occasional comments thanking me for my (weird) perspective on living here.

Reading it over again, I feel like it needed a little updating, especially since there are a few things to add and a few to remove.  Just to make sure people get the right idea…

Plus, I’m hoping, that on this second day of April, if I go over again why I like to live here, I might not be so grumpy about it being 29 degrees when I left my house this morning.

First of all… Some more stuff I’ve thought of-

 

Really? I never would have guessed.

 

Cost of living is HIGH. Income tax is a bitch, especially coming from FL where there was none. Sales tax is also pretty high, but only on certain things. Room and meal tax (i.e. hotels and restaurants) is about 9%. But no tax on clothes or groceries. And the property tax is painful. That depends more on the town you live in though since it’s mostly based on municipal and school costs which are town budget things. You can also get a break on taxes based on your income. The town I live in happens to be particularly high in the range, and even with the state subsidy, my escrow payment is a bit shocking. Great fresh food and dairy is readily available, but, since most of the farms here are small, localvore food is a bit pricey. “Buy Local” is all well and good, but only when you have a grocery budget that’ll cover it. And the worst? Fuel. If you’re looking into moving here, You need to look into houses that are well insulated and run efficient furnaces or are heated by alternative fuels or pellet stoves. I didn’t and as a result, in my poorly insulated double-wide with hot air heat, a crappy kerosene furnace and an uninsulated water heater, our average combined electric, kerosene (furnace) and propane (hot water and stove) was about $400/month. Seriously. In the new house? We’ve been there 2 months (give or take) and already used almost 200 gallons of heating oil. With fairly efficient baseboard hot water heat. Now, before you panic and start looking elsewhere, keep in mind, that my old house was pretty much worst case scenario and the new one, while completely different, isn’t a whole lot better. In our search for less claustrophobia inducing space, the new house is more than twice the square footage of the old one. BUT… built in 1949 with minimal energy-efficient improvements since then. We’ve had an energy audit and are waiting for the results, but I’m guessing, with some insulation blown into the walls, we’ll see a dramatic improvement. So it’s not all bad. But yeah, it’s definitely more expensive.

 

On the other hand, the average pay rate is higher and the quality of life is much better. My starting pay at my current job was about $7000/year more than the same level job I held in Florida. And I was paying $850/m rent in a shitty 1 bedroom apartment in a crappy neighborhood. I had a homeless lady camping out on my front porch. Seriously. She suffered from fecal incontinence. I had to bleach my entranceway when the police finally got her to move on. And since you have to run the AC year-round (as opposed to only running the heat in the winter-time here) my electric bills were always high. So overall, I think it’s probably somewhat comparable.

 

 

Mmmmmaybe.

 

On the previous post…

Availability of electronic communication is limited. High speed internet is not widely available and even cell phone converage is limited and in many places, completely unavailable. You know those sweet new 4G phones they’re advertising? Totally useless here. We’re lucky if we get in an area that has 3G service. I can’t tell you how much I love driving to Montpelier on route 12 which is windy, twisty, icy and frequently populated by moose (the animal kind) without the ability to call for help if I crash or something. (That was sarcastic if you couldn’t tell…)

That’s changed. A lot. There are still places in the state (mostly in the Northeast Kingdom) where you’re lucky to get one bar on your phone. But mostly, 4G is readily available, as is high-speed internet, and even my little podunk town has free wifi on Main St. Isn’t that adorable?

 

Weather? It’s a Bitch. As mentioned, April 2nd and 29 degrees this morning. Of course it’s 49 now, but really… To be fair, it’s been a crappy winter for most of the Northeast in general, but even in a regular year, the general population here is pissy and fed-up by March. There is a rather high rate of alcoholism here and it is directly related to the long, shitty winter. Really, there are studies out there. 

 

Given that, the general attitude around here is pretty laid-back. People move at a slower pace, just like the weather. To someone rather high-strung (ummm… that’d be me), this is both a blessing and a curse.

Clearly I’m not from here.

It’s definitely a good thing for me to slow down a bit, but the lackadaisical attitude by folks around here can be infuriating when I want to get something done. Like say some repairs in our new house. “Mudding” a dinner-plate sized hole in the wall just should not take 4 days. The guy would show up around 4, leave around 6 for 4 days. Granted, he had another job, and the completed job was excellent, but the pace at which it was done was making me absolutely fucking crazy crazier. Pinning down a time for him, or any of the other guys doing work on the house was just this side of impossible. The electrician? Did an excellent job. For an extremely reasonable price. And he actually did complete his work in a timely manner. But it was kinda difficult to plan around him needing to come in and rewire the basement when he called me the night before and told me, “Ya, so I’ll be thur ’round 8 in the morning.” Um… Ohkay? Despite all this, they were all honest and straightforward. the estimates they gave were (mostly) on target. One of the estimates was over and one was under so we came out even. Honestly, I couldn’t even get mad at the breezy, “So, we ended up cutting through that wire there. There wasn’t no sparks or nothin’ so I don’t think it was hooked up.” It was. I have no idea why they didn’t get electrocuted since the fuse hadn’t been switched off. But they didn’t seem to be concerned.

 

Additionally, while there may not be the variety of cultural enrichment here as there might be in a more populated state, there are some amazing crafters, artisans and local artists here. Go to any farmer’s market in the summer, and you’ll find amazing farm-fresh fruits and veggies, eggs, cider, organic beef and pork and course, maple syrup. In addition, you’ll also find breads, cakes and pies that would make the most hardcore Atkins dieter fall off the wagon. Hand-woven Alpaca scarves, sweaters and shawls. Hand-lathed wooden bowls. Jams, jellies, dressings, marinades, rubs and mixes made with the utmost care and worthy of the kitchens of any 4-star restaurant. Lotions and soaps, made from goats milk and lavender and lemongrass that would cost you $60 in any department store. Pottery and baskets and knives and batik printed dresses. Artisan beers, Ben&Jerry’s, Green Mountain Coffee… You can’t find this stuff, made with such care and attention to quality and detail anywhere but here. There’s a reason the “Made in Vermont” sticker gets misused by manufacturers. It’s because the stuff made here is good.

 

Ben&Jerry’s… Suck it Florida.

 

I must again stress the safety of this state. Although Gov. Shumlin’s State of the State address this year was devoted in it’s entirety to the growing epidemic of opiate addiction, there is still SO much less violence. Top news story here today (courtesy of WCAX)

Fire damages Burlington apartment house

Posted: Apr 02, 2014 12:05 PM EDT

Updated: Apr 02, 2014 12:05 PM EDT

By Melissa Howell – bio | email

 

BURLINGTON, Vt. – Fire damaged an apartment house in downtown Burlington early Wednesday morning. Crews were called to the building at the corner of Pearl Street and North Winooski Avenue at about 3:40 a.m. They found flames coming from the top floor. All five residents of the building got out safely and no one was hurt. Most of the damage appears to have been contained to the upper two floors. “Well right now it’s hard to say; we’re still investigating. At this point, there’s not a lot of structural damage except for the third floor. Second floor has a fair amount of fire damage, water damage everywhere,” said Joe Keenan, the assistant fire marshal in Burlington. Seven firefighters had been on route to Boston to attend the funeral of a fallen firefighter when the second alarm forced then to turn around and respond to the scene. The cause of the fire is still under investigation.

As opposed to Tampa(tbo.com)

Car of Pinellas man, 84, stolen hours after he was attacked

By TBO.com staff

Published: April 2, 2014   |   Updated: April 2, 2014 at 10:42 AM

The 84-year-old Pinellas Park man who was attacked, beaten and stabbed Tuesday told police his attackers wanted to steal his car. Later that night, someone stole Charlie Clark’s Ford from the front of his condominium building on the 5000 block of 76th Avenue, Pinellas Park police said. The vehicle, which was taken between 11 p.m. and 3 a.m., was recovered Wednesday morning in St. Petersburg, police said. Police said they are looking for a suspect. Before 10 a.m. Tuesday, Clark sustained serious injuries when three teens — two males and a female — attacked him as he returned to his condo from a store, police said. Clark told police he thought the trio was trying to steal his car. He said he had just exited his vehicle in a parking lot when one of the attackers grabbed him from behind. As he struggled to break free, Clark said, he knocked one of three to the ground while struggling with another. During the struggle, Clark said the attackers didn’t make any demands, but he was stabbed at least twice with a knife that police recovered at the scene. A witness came to Clark’s aid, and the suspects fled on bicycles, police said. After the attack, Clark was taken to a hospital, treated and released. Investigators released surveillance videos from a nearby store that shows three people on bicycles shortly after the attack. Police said they want to talk with them. Police described two of the suspects in the attack as black males, one in his late teens with dark skin and average height and weight, and the other in his early to mid-teens. The female suspect was described as Hispanic in her early teens, with a heavier build and red-brown hair, wearing a gray hoodie.

 

 

 

I can’t think of a more convincing reason to live here, instead of there. I’m still grateful to have the chance to raise my kids here.

 

 

 

And Some Days are Better

I had a date with Princess Punk last night. Her last report card was decent and at the moment, she’s running in the 90’s in all her classes. Plus the recent appointment with Dr. Hottie was not as awful as it has been in the past. Her A1C went down, 9.7 from 10.1, still WAY too high, but a definite reflection that she is doing better. So I figured it was time to have a Mom-and-Me date.

I’d had an ok day at work. Still not as productive as I know I’m capable of, which honestly just pisses me off, but I did get some stuff done and I actually had the director at my office tell her boss (who had come to visit) that she wanted to clone me because I was just that good. Which was pretty much as much of an ego boost as is possible doing the job I do. The fact that it came from my boss’s, boss’s boss and was directed toward the regional muckity-muck, made it that much more awesome.

Anyway, after work, I took The Princess to Sushi Yoshi in Stowe. They opened not too long ago, in a location that has seen at least 5 reincarnations of hibachi restaurants in the last 6 years. There’s still hibachi there, but now it also has a full sushi bar which is TRULY awesome. Even more awesome than having a good sushi restaurant less than an hour away from home is the fact that, despite it being in the heart of Tourist-Town, the prices are actually reasonable. Plus, they’re very nice to locals. Which is good business in my opinion. Since so many folks that live around here work in hospitality, it’s a pretty savvy business model to be good to the people who work at the resorts so they might recommend you to their guests… They have a “Good Guys” card for locals that gives 50% of basic appetizers, sushi rolls (besides the super fancy “Chef’s Special” rolls) and a la carte sushi 3-6pm everyday except Saturday, and 3 to close on Monday (which is even smarter because Monday night is Friday night to hospitality industry folks around here).

So anyway… The Princess and I went out to dinner and we hung out and actually talked. Like about stuff that is actually going on in her life. Which is a fucking miracle. She talked to me about school and her friends and even (gasp) her boyfriend. And we had a great time, just the two of us. And then we went to the movies. We saw the new Thor movie, which was kinda disappointing with the exception of ample views of half-nekkid, muscly Chris Hemsworth that Princess Punk and I agreed made the $8 ticket price totally worth it. And we threw popcorn at each other and laughed and shared candy and had an overall really great time.

So life goes on…

Marriage, french toast and Saturday mornings

I love my husband. But sometimes? I have to wonder why he has to be so gross.

It’s probably a man thing. The fact that I went into the kitchen this morning and found a sink with soggy dog food in the drain and a garbage bag in the can and another open on the floor probably has something to do with that pesky Y chromosome. Then I went into the bathroom and found a wet towel on the floor, next to a puddle of water. And this…

I’m really glad you shaved babe, but…

In case you can’t tell, that’s a ring in the sink made from an amalgam of water, shaving cream and freshly shaved stubble. Gross.

In my husband’s defense, he is actually very good about cleaning and whatnot. He’s the kitchen cleaner 90% of the time. 4 days out of 5, I come home to a tidy house. It’s the little things that drive me insane. And the little things happen to be especially disgusting. Like the wet sponge in the sink that grows bacteria faster that a petri dish seeded with staphylococci. Or the 2-3″ sticky yellowish spot in front of the toilet because he can’t give it one last good shake.

So… Yeah. I think that’s marriage in a nutshell.

Anyway. After I got over the annoyance and cleared up the kitchen enough to cook breakfast (the bathroom sink? That’s ALL him), I made a delicious breakfast for The Peach and myself. Princess Punk spent the night at My Mom’s.

French toast from homemade bread stuffed with caramelized bananas and cream cheese frosting…

The Peach approved. And I posted it on Facebook to make Princess Punk jealous.

 

 

 

 

 

I think I’ll play Sims 3 on my new laptop while I wait for The Peach to slip into a carb-induced coma.

An open letter to Orville Redenbacher

Dear Mr. Redenbacher,

May I call you Orville? It’s such an odd name, my fingers are twitching for the opportunity to use it. Orville, Orville, Orville, Orville, Orville… Sorry. I kinda went off into my own little world there.

Like manna from heaven

Let me start off the actual letter part of my letter by saying, I am a huge fan. I have to say, it’s not solely your products, I am partial to some of your competitor’s products as well. But you do make some pretty damn nifty popcorn.  I enjoy delicious popcorn as a satisfying snack when watch TV with my husband, The Zen Master, or even just toodling around the house on a Saturday afternoon. It’s crunchy and easy to prepare and can be dressed so many different ways. There are a gazillion microwave varieties but I have to say, I prefer to make mine from the kernel, in a big pot on the stove top. It requires a bit more patience and vigilance, but there is something so satisfying about listening to 1/4 cup of hard, dry little kernels exploding into a whole pot full of delicious goodness.  Cabot Cheese makes this cheese shaker thingy especially for you and your competitors. You pop the popcorn (honestly, I love even saying that… it’s so… exuberant) then drizzle a little melted butter (or, if you’re watching your cholesterol, olive oil) on it and then shake the cheese to your heart’s content. Crap. I totally just drooled on my keyboard. The result is real cheese popcorn, not the stuff from the bag that looks wilted and is colored a shade of orange not actually produced outside a chemistry lab. And of course, that’s only one preparation out of thousands. Kettle corn? Nuff said.

This is how my guts look now. Except more visceral. (funny right?)

Here’s the thing…

 I’m going to have to respectfully withdraw myself from your customer base. As much as I adore hot popcorn with butter and salt and garlic powder… Dammit! More drool! It does not, under any circumstances, with any kind of topping, adore me. You see, about 5 years ago, I had a type of weight loss surgery called a Duodenal Switch. I am very happy with my decision, I’ve lost over 200lbs and kept (most of) it off. The thing about the DS (which is how I shall refer to this surgery henceforth), is that my digestive system is… Odd. I have about 75cm of small intestine that actually absorbs the food I eat. This makes for great weight loss. It also makes for other issues. Since I no longer digest certain foods the way a normal person does. I tend to have a lot of problems with white flour. Gluten=Gas. And if I eat too much fat, the bathroom situation becomes… Let’s just say, unpleasant.

Since popcorn is a gluten-free food, I have long thought the problems I’d experienced after eating it were related to some other thing I ate. Apparently not.

~ppppppppfffffffftt~

For some reason, when I eat popcorn, within 10-15 minutes, my abdomen bloats up like a nervous pufferfish. And it hurts. Bad. I’m left curled up on the bed with my ass in the air, hoping, since gas moves up easier than down, that it will travel my intestinal highway with haste and give me some relief (although my family would not be so lucky). I’ve actually briefly pondered poking myself with a knitting needle to let the air escape that way, it hurts that bad. And the toppings I favor don’t help either. The amount of butter I put on my popcorn would make a cardiologist faint. Since I only absorb 20% of the fat that I eat, I tend not to worry about such things. Put your thinking cap on… If I absorb only 20% of the fat I eat, and I eat a large bowl of popcorn with 4Tbl (yes, that’s tablespoons, not teaspoons) of melted butter, then approximately 3.2Tbl of the butter goes… Yes. Gross right? Uncomfortable too. And I’m embarrassed to say, there have been times in the past such overindulgence has later necessitated a wardrobe change. And a pair of undies in the trash. Because there’s really no coming back from that.

 Was that a complete overshare? My apologies, I seem to be prone to that.

So anyway… What I’m saying… I’ll miss you. Terribly. I will never again watch a movie without wistfully remembering the good times, when popcorn didn’t mercilessly tear up my insides like I’d swallowed Freddy Kreuger. Oh my. That sounded dirty.

I appreciate your hard work. Keep up the deliciousness, even though I can no longer partake!

 

~sigh~

 

Ok… I give up… Where is she putting all that?

“With extra cheese please.”

Went out to lunch with My Mom, Princess Punk and Crazy Girl. We went to a pizza place in Stowe that is delicious and has a gluten-free pizza crust option which is awesome. Not so great? It’s in Stowe. So it’s ridiculously overpriced. Still, it wasn’t too bad for lunch for My Mom who paid for everybody. Not going to do it again any time soon but it was definitely good. The Peach got to sit in a booster seat instead of a high chair which she thought was just nifty, especially since she could slump down and make every adult at the table go, “Ohmigod!” and grab her before she did a boneless slide onto the floor. Given the pricey menu, I determined it was more economical to have the girls share something, especially since I was unaware if this was a Food Day or a Not-Food Day. The Peach, like most toddlers, has days where she simply will not eat anything you offer her and will generally have a bite or two of whatever you might be eating throughout the day but not really anything else. And then she has days where she will not only eat anything you give her, she will eat the majority of everything on your plate as well and get royally pissed off when you tell her that “No, Mommy would like to eat at least 1/10 of her own food.” There is no real middle ground. So I didn’t really want to order a $14 individual pizza and have her decide she really didn’t want any thank you very much before politely dropping it on the floor.

I guess it was a Food Day.

This 24lb kid ate more pizza than Princess Punk. I thought she was gonna choke. Princess Punk ordered a personal pepperoni pizza to share with her sister. The personal pizzas there are not small, I can maybe manage a half of one. Pizza came and I grabbed a slice to cut up for the Peach while The Princess calculated her carbs for the remainder. I then made the mistake of putting the plate with the entire piece on it, in front of the ravenous little beast sitting between My Mom and Princess Punk. I looked at my own food for a moment and immediately heard this;

“Holy crap Mom, she just shoved it all in her mouth!”

That’s what she said… Anyway…

15 seconds prior, that plate had a slice of pizza on it the size of my hand.

I was astounded. I knew she was capable of chipmunking food, but I had no idea the extend to which her gullet could expand.

 

“Whut???”

I was actually pretty impressed… Although quite wary. Given her father’s predilection for overindulgence induced emesis (Thank you college education… And yes, showing off just a teeny bit), I was half-expecting a nauseating revisit of her pizza.

She drank half of My Mom’s water and it was all good.

Greedy little Shit.

I made sure The Zen Master got diaper duty the next day.

Apparently a random kind of day.

Sooo… The Zen Master has made the astute observation that the sound of stirring macaroni and cheese sounds very similar to certain sexual acts.

Today? I realized that the sounds of pretty much anything on my current soft-food diet are reminiscent of various naughty behaviors.

Betcha never look at mac n’ cheese again without blushing.

Oooooooohhh…

Apparently soft food diet means Soft Food Diet…

As in, little to no chewing.

Not soft foods as tolerated. Apparently “Soft Food Diet” is an actual specific thing.

• Mechanical Soft: A mechanical soft diet may be prescribed for people who have difficulty chewing or swallowing. In general, mechanical soft foods are chopped, ground or blenderized and prepared with added liquids to make them easier to chew. Recommended foods include soft breads, cooked cereals, cereals softened in milk, canned fruit, juices, cooked vegetables, ground meat, scrambled eggs, cooked dry beans and peas, soft cheeses, yogurt without fruit, custards and puddings, cream soups and noodles. Foods containing nuts or seeds, tough meats, hard breads, raw fruits and vegetables and dried foods should be avoided.

Well Goddammit.

It’s not like I’d been eating steak or anything, I’d just not been limiting myself quite that much. Yogurt without fruit? Damn, that’s just harsh.

So now I’m trying to rack my brain for some interesting things to eat that are also soft. Wow. That sounded incredibly porny. Umm… Oh, right… Attempting to not get bored with soft food.

Here’s what I’ve been eating since I found out my ideas about soft food were just too hard… Ok… really, am I being a perv or does this keep sounding all dirty?

So… Foods I’ve been eating…

• Eggs. Lots and lots and lots and lots of eggs. I need a lot of protein in my diet because of the DS, so limiting my protein sources is kinda a pain in the arse. Hence… half a dozen eggs a day. No shit. Mostly omelets with onions and mushrooms chopped up all teeny and sautéed to death. And cheese. I tried egg salad but without the bread it’s just fucking gross.
• Mac n’ cheese. I’m sick of the blue box stuff and it’s also “too chewy,” but the Stouffers is really good and definitely an allowable consistency. Of course, they both have the evil gluten so my family generally needs to evacuate whatever room I’m in about 2-3 hours after I eat it. I did make some homemade over the weekend with gluten-free corn pasta. I put bacon and sautéed onions in my mac n’ cheese as per my usual (because everything is better with bacon) and then discovered I had to pick the pieces of bacon out because they weren’t kosher. Oh right, bacon isn’t kosher. I was using the term figuratively but I guess it works both ways? Rambling. My bad.
• Refried beans. Not bad with the omelet and some sour cream. Tired to eat them as a stand alone and was reminded of a time I gave Fairy Dog some peanut butter. Have you ever seen a dog with a mouthful of peanut butter? Yeah. That’s not exactly conducive to limiting jaw movement.
• Oatmeal. Eh. Add a sliced banana and some sugar and it’s serviceable, but it gets old pretty fast.
• Ice cream and pudding. I swear to God I have put on 10lb in the past three weeks. The good thing is, by the time this is over, I don’t think I’ll ever want either again… Except maybe Ben and Jerry’s. Which I can’t eat now anyway because all the flavors I like have nuts or chocolate chunks or some other thing that would require mastication.
• Soup. Clam chowder, corn chowder, chicken and corn chowder, chipoltle chicken and corn chowder, butternut squash, lentil, black bean, chicken and rice, chicken noodle…  They are all starting to taste the same.
• Baloney sandwich with the crust cut off and a lot of mayo and mustard. And now, I’m not exactly sure how I feel about giving my children meat and bread that are that easy to smush. That just doesn’t sound… healthy.
• Meatloaf. I made it last week with a lot of bread, egg and milk and it came out very easy to mush. Smothered in gravy, it was pretty damn good.
• Stewed chicken. Apparently dark meat only. I tried some chicken breast stewed and shredded and it was still kinda… Stringy. No good.
• Rice and mashed potatoes. Very filling. All carbs. No nutritional value. Still, harder to chew meats and veggies are a lot more palatable ground up if they’re mixed in with mashed potatoes and butter. And maybe some cheese too.
• String cheese. Unlike cubed cheese, if I shred it thin enough, it requires virtually no chewing. It’s apparently also extremely entertaining to watch me sit and concentrate on a (rather phallic-looking) piece of cheese and meticulously peel off little strips. Oh, and it is completely impossible to eat when The Peach is around. She loves the stuff. A lot. Yesterday I actually saw her snatch all four of the nice, toddler-sized pieces of cheese I had laid out for her and cram them into her mouth with both hands all at once. And then she waddled away at top speed so I couldn’t stop her. Like I was really going to try and get it out of her mouth at that point. Ew.

And that’s pretty much it. Which for someone as picky about food as I am is not a whole lot. Before The Zen Master and I got together, I threw out a LOT of food. I would cook something, inevitably make way too much and then get bored after about one round of leftovers. Since I now have 2 Human Hoovers in my house (and a dustbuster too), We almost never throw out leftovers. But now, I end up going into the kitchen 5-6 times, opening the fridge, freezer and all the cupboards, getting annoyed because there’s nothing to eat and then then stomp back to my room, still hungry. I’m sitting here right now typing this, listening to my stomach growl and scowling because I know that, although the fridge and freezer are so full you couldn’t fit another thing in them, there is not a single thing in the house I actually want to eat. And The Zen Master is starting to look nervous. Because he knows what happens when I’m hungry.

Peach Ice Cream?

Princess Punk and her BFF, Ben and Jerry’s and The Peach’s first ice cream cone all to herself… We got her Peaches and Cream (naturally) but she decided she liked everybody else’s SO much better.

“WTF is going on? Where the hell is my ice cream??”

The Peach tries the peach…

Seriously?

“NOOOOOO!!! Yours is better!”

“Sucker”